Io, Saturnalia!

Last night was the shortest night of the year (northern hemisphere --the longest in the southern). It was the Winter Solstice.

From today on, the day will be a little bit longer every day and the sun will be hotter and Spring, slowly, will take over Winter.

In Roman Times, around this date (it used to fall on the 25th of December at the time, before the calendar reform), they used to celebrate the Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, the Festival of the birth of the Unconquered Sun, in honour of Saturn; and the main day, last night, was called Saturnalia. During that time, Romans feasted, postponed all business and warfare, exchange gifts, and temporally freed their slaves.

On the 4th century it was replaced by a conveniently chosen date for the birth of Jesus Christ.

It has always been a very special date, as many cultures have celebrated it. Other feasts in and around the Winter Solstice are:

• Chinese: Dong Zhi
• Christian: Christmas (including Saint Stephen, Saint John the Evangelist, Advent), Saint Nicholas (12/6), Holy Innocents (12/28), Sylvester (31/12), Feast of Circumcision and Feast of Fools (01/1), Candlemas (01/2) and Orthodox Christmas or Wise Men/Kings of Orient's day (01/6).
• Germanic: Modranect (Mother's day on the Saxon Winter Solstice Festival), Yule (Winter Solstice).
• Jewish: Hanukkah (Festival on the Commemoration of the Miracle of the Candles).
• Neopagan: Yule and Imbolc (Festival of Candles).
• Persian: Yalda (Winter Solstice, Birth of Sun God Mehr).
• Secular: Life Day (12/20, Wookiee), Agnostica (Celebration of the Birth of the Quantum Physics), Zamenhof Day (12/15, Birthday of Dr. Esperanto), Festivus (12/23, from Seinfield's Show), HumanLight (12/23, Secular Humanist Midwinter Holiday), Chrismukkah (slang for Christmass and Hanukkah in the mix families), Yuletide, Giftmas, Newtonmas (12/25, Birthday of Newton), Boxing Day, Kwanzaa (12/26-01/1, festival of African-American culture), Hogmanay (12/31, Scotish New Year's Eve).

I wish you a wonderful Feast of the Invincible God Sun and a hopeful Kalends, the first day of the year, and I encourage you to keep the festivity's happiness along the year.

Look at the Sun, He is Life, Love and Happiness.

[Bottom picture: Saturnalia, by Antoine-François Callet]

White, blue, black and grey

This certainly is the era of information and communication. Well, you know that, you are reading a blog: the coolest and latest way to communicate with people you know and people you don't. With blogs you get to know all kind of people, and, what is great about it, who (shall) like what you'd written.

I had a computer at home since I can remember and this made me the "IT" of the family. Everyone comes to me to ask me 'why is that happening?', 'how can...?'s' and 'where can...?'s'. Now I have a little bit of competence, but it is fine by me!

I am talking about that because I discovered Blogger one day checking out Google's tools and services. And just the other day I discovered a wonderful tool recently bought by Yahoo!. I am talking about del.icio.us, a site where you can place your bookmarks and links so you can find your fav's wherever you are, whichever the computer you are using. And on top of it, it is a search engine, too, so you can tag your links with multiple tags so you can find it easily, later on.
But the funniest thing is that it is also a community since you can see who else has this link and the links other people have. Which is as well glorious as e.g. I link a site about Phonology of the Xhosa language and I see that someone else has this site linked, I check it out and I see this person has also a link to a site about the Phonetics of the Xhosa language, and now I can learn about both the Phonetics and the Phonology of the Xhosa language. Isn't that great?

The only pity is that it is bought by Yahoo!, that I don't like. But at least you don't need a Yahoo! account to be del.icio.us.ed.

Christmas, oh Christmas...

I hate the falsity of Christmas.
Why do I have to smile?
I know many people has talked about that but I need to say it.

It is not fare that if you behave badly for most of the months of the year, suddenly you come to me (or make someone come to me) to try to make things better. For the sake of Christmas Eve's Dinner!

As Americans would say: Come ........... on!

This year I am not going to spend money on gifts (not because I am short of money now, because I have enough for a few presents). I don't want to participate of this Christmas Shopping Event. I will make presents: hand made or bought on charities or wherever the money I spend goes into a cause, not just for the next boat or trip of the owner.

Down with Shopping Centres, down with El Corte Inglés!

This reminds me of a chapter of The Simpsons where the owners of a Big Shopping Centre (Inspired in Wal-Mart, perhaps) suddenly invented a new feast: The Love Day, when you buy silly presents for your beloved ones, decorate your house with hearts and teddies and after that day you throw everything away.

Just after opening the presents Marge says: "We better start our Love Day cleanup! Kids, you take care of the wrapping paper, I'm going to dismantle Love Land." (Marge goes outside where Bears are playing Violins).

This is when Homer is Springfield's Sanitation Commissioner with the slogan "Can't Someone Else do it?". [The Simpsons, "Trash of the Titans", Episode 200th or 22nd of the 9th season].

(Here you can see quotations of The Simpsons and videos of this chapter, I haven't seen them, so I don't know what are they.)

This is it! We spend because they want us to spend.
I normally do not buy presents even for birthdays: I buy them if I am walking around and I find something I'd like someone to have it.
Christmas could be all year round.
We should be good people all year round.

But again: Human Behaviour...

Poor Garfield

As I said, this week for me is: Sunday, Monday (I only worked morning), BH, Wednesday, BH, Friday.

So this means that I have (as I said on the previous post earlier today) three Mondays.

Garfield would be dead by Friday.

I love Garfield.

This mini-post is dedicated to SSG.

A week

I have been told off about not posting lately. It has been 7 days already. A week. But, you know, it has been quite hectic these days.

The think, even though the hectic-ness, nothing really important has happened. The best of all is the sun that, even though it is cold out there, is shining like in a beautiful Scandinavian spring. I am so loving it.

I have had some nice thoughts and I have been doing some research, i.e. I have some half-written posts.

I am feeling very lazy today. Yesterday I was off as it was Spanish Constitution day. Tomorrow I am off as it is the Immaculate Conception. So, as it has been said, this week is an aqueduct (when we have e.g. Sunday - day - Bank Holiday and we take that day off we call it to have bridge) or as well the week of the three Mondays like for me as I am not off today. Now I am sitting on my desk (luckily the boss is out and my colleague went to the shop --the other two people of the office are not in this morning), being told to increase work "quantity" as we are so much time off this month. What is what is worth? Quantity or quality? Humph! I hate my job. I so want to change. I want one what we call "intensive", i.e. 8 hours in a row (or even 9 with one for lunch). 8-4. To have all the afternoon to study (I haven't been able to go through all my books yet), to write, to read, to look at the sky, to post, to email, to meet people, to go to the cinema, to listen to all the new music I have and to do all those things that I have in my to-do list (which, actually, has at the bottom: to fall in love).

1st of December

Mocos

I'm ill...


I hate being ill...


I need someone to take care of me...

[ -- no words -- ]

As you could read in last friday's post, it was the day of the fight against domestic violence.

In the eleven months of this year 56 women have been killed by their partners (in Spain), more than weeks in the whole year. Although it is an 11% less than last year's, it is still a lot --one is already too many.

On Saturday I heard something amazing: in this year there have been over 28 thousand detentions for domestic violence. Also there have been over 43 thousand reports to police of abuses to women.

God, this is a lot of people! It is amazing how many women have died but, God, so many that could have.

Unbelievable.

The worst: this have been happening for ever and, unfortunately, it will always be. Hateful Human Behaviour.

I have no words for that.

RRR

A few weeks ago, a friend told me that in Belgium they have a very good recycling program. They have microchips in the rubbish bags so you only pay rubbish collection taxes according to what you throw away. Recyclable materials are collected for free. So, you can find people who opens the tea bag to throw the tea on the organic, the staple to the traditional rubbish, the label to the paper and... where does the cord go? I don't know. I have Googled it and I didn't quite find the information about it (in English) but I saw that it certainly has a good system.

The reason I talk about that is because my eldest sister said the other day: "Oh, they placed two recycling points in front of my house --one for plastics and the other for paper--. I can finally recycle!" Before that, she should have had to go a few hundred meters to the nearest recycling point, i.e. she wasn't recycling. She is happy now. I wonder if other people would be happy to be able to recycle.

I have been thinking about that lately and watching at people. I saw a woman yesterday that was carrying a rubbish bag to the "container" and I could recognise through the almost transparent plastic that she had some cans and tetra packs inside. This morning I saw a woman throwing a carton board box to the traditional rubbish; the worst, twenty meters away there was a paper recycling container but the container she used was a meter from her shop doorstep. Both were women: this does not mean that women do not care (even though the cleaners I've seen throwing the spam and the free magazines are women), I do think that most possibly women care about recycling more than men, as per my experience with house mates and friends. [This, actually, meant that women are who normally throw rubbish away.]

I do not understand why the recycling system in Spain works so poorly. I do not understand why the govern does not pay a good recycling campaign. I don't understand why don't we get a law to oblige people to recycle. I don't understand why can't I recycle organic.

I don't understand why people throws things to the floor, and less, why they do not recycle, why they do not WANT to recycle.

Violence - nce + t

Today is the international day to suppress violence against women.

From here I want to support them: the women who are fighting against their partners and former partners and all the associations that are working in this cause.

Babel

I dare to write and "hang" it on the net but, hey, what I write are things that I really do know.

I have a personalized Google home page and one of the subjects I get news from is Linguistics (both in Spanish and English). I've just read something that got on my nerves. You can check it here if you understand Spanish.

It says that Catalonia is the region in Spain that has the highest scholar failure. OK, that is fine by me, I can believe it. The problem comes when it says that it is like that because of the "linguistic immersion", i.e. because we teach all subjects in Catalan [except, obviously Spanish, English and other second languages]. Oh, come on! I am Spanish Speaker and I had no problem with that (well, some in my early childhood but non afterwards --if I failed was because of me, not because of the language it was explained in). After reading it I've turned back to my colleague at work to ask her about that. She was born in Jaen (Andalucía) and came when she was very little. She told me that she didn't have any problem with it. And though, she is Spanish Speaker; and though, "my Catalan" is "better" than her's; and though, I failed and she didn't.

What is all that about? Oh, come on.

I guess the Statute (Catalan Constitution) thing is creating that boycott and that "silliness" and this I-say-whatever-I-want-only-to-make-Catalans-look-bad.

It says something very funny, though: "The linguistic immersion has failed terribly and it has to be switched to teaching in the mother tongue of the pupil, as pedagogues and international organizations have always recommended". Yeah, right, that's why Spanish cannot learn a second language. But, what is funny in this is that this is now saying: let's teach children in Spanish, Catalan, Arab, Chinese, Romanian, Lithuanian... and this is only a bit of the whole bunch of languages that coexist only in my 14 thousand inhabitants town. Imagine in Madrid or Barcelona, there will be a school every two steps!

I can't believe people is so closed minded.

Before the new 10 European countries joined the EU I read an small article about how bad that was for the English language as, when all those "poor Communist people" come to England to "steal our benefit", they will create new English-whatever Vernaculars (non-English speaking people mixing English with their own language).

This is just pathetic. As I say in my SEV (Spanish English Vernacular) they are taking an ace out of their sleeves just to bother.

[I sent a letter to the editor of that digital newspaper and has been published on the 27th of November. Click here]

Suddenly it is Christmas

Once again, I have forgotten to post something I thought long ago.

It was 3rd of November, two days before I went on holidays, long Bank Holiday weekend. I'm walking to the office.

Some men [paid by the Town Hall] are cutting off the leaves of the trees (well, the leaves and the small branches) with the following repercussions:

• the tree will only be an skeleton,
• the tree will have to grow again the small branches next spring, i.e. more effort,
• the tree wont be creating oxygen from now on; if the leaves were left, it would create oxygen for a month or two more.
• the tree will produce less oxygen next year as it will take longer until it grows the leaves,
• the town hall is only paying (let's say) 10 men for 2 weeks, instead of 5 men for 3 months cleaning the streets,
• the beautiful autumn image of the streets full of leaves wont be seen,
• the tree will not grow high and big,
• the tree looks horrible.

I know there must be other reasons to cut them, though, I see the trees in London, so big and beautiful, and I can't imagine there is one better reason in this small town.

At the same time they cut them off, other men were hanging the Christmas light decorations in the street.

Remember: it is 3rd of November.

I think about it during the morning. When I go home, I look at one light (they aren't beautiful). Suddenly a thought comes up to my mind:

"YOU HAVE JUST GOT PAID. REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN'T SPEND MUCH MONEY THIS MONTH. NEXT ONE YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH MONEY."

I thought Christmas was just the festivity of the birth of Jesus Christ.

Where is the magic and the beauty of the legend of Saint Nicholas and the French Nuns? Where is it? Is it in my Credit Card?

I do not think so.

At home we do not capitalise Christmas [we are not even religious]; normally we do just one present per person. This year, I told them, not to do a present bought in a store [second hand and charities are allowed], better something that you do with your own hands, something with meaning.

Rayito

I think I have never told you about Rayito.

Rayito is a Rainbow Ray of Light that has been accompanying me along all summer. My desk is by the window and, every morning, Rayito was laying on my table for a couple of hours.
One day 'he' didn't come back; autumn had arrived, we had changed one hour and the Sun had moved a bit on its position in the sky. I was sad.

This morning, though, Rayito was on my table; very light and smaller than before but he was there telling me: "Do not worry, I'll be back soon, winter is coming and I have to hibernate. Enjoy your winter and think of me. I look forward being here every morning, with you, seeing the boring time at work go by."

Photo originally taken from here.

20-XI-75

I know I am no-one to say what is 'bad' and what is 'good' but, sometimes, I realise that I must be some-one to say that some-thing is BAD.

A while ago, I moved the telly from the living room to the kitchen so I don't watch it that much, only while I am having lunch and dinner. In the Living Room I left an English telly that does not receive Spanish frequencies but has a DVD incorporated.
My father came on Monday to visit and I moved the telly back. Anyway, after a long evening talking about the latest news, we got engaged with a documentary that Mercedes Milà is doing in Tele5. The thing is: on the 22nd of November 1975, Franco died. So Milà is doing a documentary about the Fascism and the Ultra-right-ism in nowadays Spain.

It is unbelievable that people still thinks that Franco was great, but it is disgusting to see that young people (my age and even younger, 14ish) say things like "I believe that ultra-right dictatorships are better than Democracy", "In a Democracy you cannot choose what you want, when in a Dictatorship you can". Of course, if you are fine with the belief of the dictator, it is fine for you!

Oh, come on guys! What is all that about? It is repulsing. Seeing this old woman shouting "Assassin" to Santiago Carrillo --former general secretary (president, head) of the PCE, the Spanish Communist Party-- for something that never happened in Paracuellos del Jarama, when they are giving him Honoris Causa at the Universidad Autónoma de Madrid.
What are all those demonstrations against the removal of Franco-ist street plaque names or sculptures of the Dictator (30 years after his dead --of course, we still have the sculptures of dead kings and governors of the old ages, but it is different because they weren't that kind of dictator (some kings where, though).
What are all those ultra-right demonstrations in the pseudo-nations of Spain, i.e. Euskadi, Catalunya, Galicia... just to "show" that Spain's "unity" is important.
Oh, come on, when Cervantes was alive they used to say "The Spains" and even before. I am Catalan and I am Spanish. And I am a bit Andalusian and a bit Aragonese and a bit Madrilian. Come on, I am so interested in keeping Spain as it is but the "Una, grande y libre" ["One, big and free"] is SO out of fashion.
It is time for us to accept that there is more than one Spain and that we have to start respecting one another's beliefs. But, more important than that, we have to start accepting that the past is just that: past.
For the sake of Spain: let's look ahead and walk holding hands to a better future.

Dreamland

Hello guys! I've just arrived from my holidays in London (and England, actually).
This have been the best holidays I have ever had. Imagine! Even though it wasn't exactly holidays as I was somewhere I knew well (eventually, my sense of orientation has gone one step forward, but I still get bit lost sometimes).
I am not going to go through all details on how my holiday were and what did I do but, as always, I am going to let my mind explain itself with my thought on the big city.

The first thing that comes up to my mind is the fact that things that I used to hate (i.e. tube, underground) has appeared to be one of the nicest things and most missed of all (the things, not people) as, since I got back to this country (Sunny Spain is becoming Very Rainy Spain, BTW), I have lost the habit of reading; I guess, I had created the habit of reading while moving and now I have only a two-minute walk to my office. So, on my flight there I started reading El Quijote and now I am almost finishing --I have to say that I went twice to the country on one-hour train trip.

London is a very full big city. There are people of any kind, any nationality. There are many crazy people. I was so distressed when, waiting for my friend to pick me up at King's Cross, a drunken man shouted at me and scared me. Though, sometimes you see people that you'd love to run into and start a conversation. Or you see through a house window, or through the doors of a pub something that really moves you. Like the other day, walking around, this young couple dancing ball dance (not that properly, actually) and the scene was so nice that I wanted to take a photo.

Going back to the places I liked has been, actually, one of THE THINGS I've been doing all the week. My walk: Westminster - Southwark (NFT) - Tate Modern - Millennium Bridge - North Bank (?) - Embankment Gardens - Charing T (Re: "Brave New World", Huxley) - Leicester Square - Coven Garden - Carnaby Street... Such a great few hours walking. Stopping in every corner to LOOK what I've already SEEN a few thousand times. Sit in a bench in South Bank and look at the Thames. Look at the skaters, the jumpers, the joggers and all the people that, like you, is just walking around. Great.

Meeting my friends has been great, what can I say? I felt loved. This is not that kind of blog -- sending you big-wet-auntie-Ann's kisses. And hugs and mate-embraces and hits.

Porridge. Oh, too bad. The first day my friend --whose beautiful house I was staying in-- bought me some Digestive and butter cookies, which I had missed. Though, the second morning I started eating Porridge for my breakfast --berries, banana, raisins, sultana... Oh, great... I can't believe we changed oats for "Cola-Cao".

Her garden; even though it was just cold enough not to have our cheese night outside, I could be for ever looking at it.

Planes: as her house is near Heathrow Airport planes were coming and going all the time. You would see one and before you stop hearing his engine you have a new one to hear/see. Or sometimes you would see four planes at once, queueing up for landing. So many planes, hundreds of them. Coming, going. EuroStar, trains, buses. People. Move, move. Transport. Movement. Rotation. Money. Transport. Transport. Transport.

Multiculturalism. Visiting Southall was great. The Indian-Pakistani area is full of colour and has a totally different move, all rather slower and chilled out. Also at home, where night talks will end up on difference between how we all see life. Or history talk about WWII and would have the American, the English, the French and the Spanish version and could reach for the Greek, the Italian and the German (right?). I would stop their speech to say: "Oh, you are the allies!" and then argue with them why they didn't help us (America did, a bit, just for interest).

I have more to say, though, I am bit tired for the trip. Will follow.

PS As you can see I have changed the "roller blind", this is from "my bedroom" in London.

All the photos taken this week in London.

Thank you very much LG (Life's Good).

Holy-days

I'll be on holidays in London from today till the 14th.

Hope I'll be back with lots of stories.

I will write them all down so I can explain them to you.

Tarragona (Catalan only)

Per a tots aquells de i de voltants de Tarragona:

Què: PEDRES i RECORDS

PEDRES
Espectacle literari escrit i portat a escena per Rates de Biblioteca (Torredembarra)

RECORDS
Espectacle literari i teatral per part d'alumnes de l'escola de teatre Centrescènic (Torredembarra)

On: Sala La Vaqueria. C. Rebolledo 11, Tarragona.

Quan: Aquesta nit --2 de novembre-- a les 21h.

Quant: Entrada lliure.

Què més?: Obsequi del llibre "Rates de Biblioteca 6"

Imagte d'Inma Vallmitjana

For the non Catalan Speaking, I am sorry for that segregation, but this is a very local thing.

Figs

As "Anonymous" asked, here is the recipe of the salad my sister did for my other sister's birthday.

Figs and goat's cheese salad with grape vinaigrette, praline and wafer

Ingredients:

Salad
Grape
Aceto di Modena (vinegar)
Goat's Cheese
Sugar (100gr)
Flour (20gr)
Albumen (the white of an egg)
Figs
Hazelnuts (a bunch)
Almonds (a bunch)
Walnuts (a bunch)

Preparation:

of the Praline:

Mince the hazelnuts, the almonds and the walnuts. Fry them with 50gr of sugar. Cook until they get golden coloured. Spread the paste you get over oven paper. Let it get colder.

of the wafer:

Mix the egg whites with the flour and 50gr of sugar. Spread the paste over oven paper and cook in the oven until it gets golden. Let it get colder.

of the vinaigrette:

Mince the grape and strain it. Fry it with a bit of Modena's vinegar and two spoons of sugar.

of the figs:

Cut the figs in halves. Place a piece of goat's cheese on top of each one of them. Grill them until the cheese melts.

Place it all nicely in plates.

Les figues

Figs are one of the oldest fruits in the world. Actually, in the Sacred Writings, in the Genesis, is the second fruit mentioned, after the apple. Adam and Eve, after eating the forbidden fruit, run to hide themselves with fig leaves. [" (...) they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves." Holy Bile, Genesis, 3:6] Even though, in many artistic representations of the couple in the Middle Age, they were depicted with grape leaves; this is a mistaken fact.

The Mediterranean cultivation is: olive, almond, grape and fig.
For 10.000 years, the fig has been a valued fruit for many civilizations: Phoenicius, Greeks, Romans...
In the Greek mythology we find that to Tantalus, the son of Zeus, once in Hell, they are bringing closer to him a branch of figs that he can never reach.

In the origins of Rome, we find that Romulus and Remus are drinking the milk of the Lupa Capitolina (Capitoline's She-Wolf) under the shadow of a fig tree.
From the European countries, Spain is the biggest fig producer and exporter. The regions where it is most cultivated are: Illes Balears, Extremadura, Païs Valencià and Andalucía. In Catalonia, the province of Lleida is the biggest producer.
Turkey is the biggest producer in the world.

We can find the common figs, which give the fruit once a year, between August and October. Also we can find the "breva" figs, which give fruits twice a year: June-July (which are called Saint John's figs (Figues de Sant Joan, in Catalan), figaflor (in Catalan) or breva (in Spanish), and the second time in the end of summer and beginning of Autumn.
In Spanish we find the saying "De higos a brevas" (From figs to brevas) which means "Once in a while, from time to time". So it means the period between around September and June, i.e. when the common fig grows and when the breva fig grows.

Fresh figs are not very caloric (80kcal/100gr) but they are very rich in: fiber, calcium, potassium and magnesium.

When we dry them we are multiplying their caloric and energetic value (274kcal/100gr).
They are very digestive, laxative, a very good revitalizer and with lots of vitamins from the B group.

Recipe and most of the information about figs, got from my sister Rocío.

I have the recipe in Catalan if anyone wants it.

In the Train

I love trains. I could spend hours in a train, but not waiting for one.
And I miss them a lot now that I live in this town that I don't need a train or a bus at all.

I've been to Barcelona today. I love Barcelona. Though I went for nothing as I couldn't do what I was going for. So I have to go again on Monday.

On my way back something got my attention --I'd forgotten my book so I was just listening to my iPod and looking around and to the window. There were four guys sitting in the next six-grouped sits just in front of me. They were all of them Muslim and they were saying funny things --unfortunately I do not speak Arabic, so I wasn't laughing. Also, they were looking and whistling at girls; and saying compliments --I say 'compliments' since I don't know the English for "rude, chauvinist, unwanted comment".
Since I had nothing to read, I was looking at them, how they behaved ("Human Behaviour") and I realised of one little thing: one of the guys was sitting in one of the corners, next to the corridor, and he wasn't looking at girls like the rest. He was looking at them like saying "How I hate you, dolls" and back looking at one of the other mates like saying "Why do you look at them? I am here!". He was like Joey from Friends, laughing when they were laughing, but not because he was stupid, but because he was just looking at this guy. Observing him.

I've heard that Muslim have a greater acceptation of the homosexuality, that they practice it before marriage, but it is just sex. He wasn't looking at the other guy in a sex way but in a love way. I wonder, will he have it more or less difficult than a Catholic? (meaning Catholic all of us who have born in a Catholic society, not only the believers).
Since his society is rather more chauvinist and "closed minded" than "ours", I imagine he would have much more difficult to accept that.
I don't know, never met one gay Muslim.

When I am in the train I always look at people and invent their lives. Who is with who and why, what are their jobs and so on. Only looking at this small hints that I can observe.

Minding the gaps

My brain is going through a moment of too much work, finding the way out of this labyrinth that is life. My thoughts aren't clear. Just letting things fall by their own weight.

I have to learn to choose the big stones to build my wall and then, with the small ones, fill the gaps.

I'll restart my hard drive.

Image originally taken from here.

Luck

I went to the movies, today. I saw The Secret Life of Words (La vida secreta de las palabras) which has been released in Spain this week and wont be released in the States until December --I don't know when will it be released in the UK and Eire.
It is certainly a great movie and it made me think a lot, and sadly.

When I was younger, my brother and sisters, and most of the people that was around me, used to tell me very often thinks like: You weren't born yet, you are too young, you'll understand in a few years... I hated it. Especially this about me not being born when that matter had happened.
Now, I am very happy that I was born in 1981. Very proud.
Also, I am very happy I was born in Spain as, it is a great place. I am not saying this just because I am Spanish, but because we don't usually have natural catastrophes, we haven't had a war since 1939, etc.

As I said I saw today the new Isabel Coixet's movie and it made me think of how lucky I am that I was born in here, then.

[I am too sad to write longer, sorry.]

Musical letter

Lately I've been hearing lots of new music. I have music in my mind most of the time. When I am in silence I am singing in my within. Sometimes I would just answer a question with a song. I know I've talked about that lately. Bad news are still coming. I am not going to explain it. Just going to sing some pieces of songs. Most of them are right like they are, some of them I've changed some words. In brackets where it comes from.
This is a letter to two people. Between inverted commas is what I say to someone. The rest is to the other. Difficult to understand?
Here is today's soundtrack:


It's real early morning, no-one is around, I'm back at my desk, again writing things down. It's become a habit, a way to end the day. I go through all this before you wake up, so I can feel happier, to be read here by you. [Björk, Hyper-ballad, Post]
You see everything, you see every part, you see all my life, you dig everything of which I'm ashamed, and you are still here. [Alanis Morissette, Everything, So-Called Chaos]
Dear dar, my ex, wrote a message, he was talking crazy, saying he wanted me to move with him back there. [Alanis Morissette, Joining You, Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie , MTV Unplagged]

"Don't throw yourself like that, in front of me, you'll hurt your knees. I kissed your mouth back then. Volcanoes melt you down. What I am to you is not real. What I am to you is not what you mean to me. You give me miles and miles of mountains and I ask for the sea. This is nothing new, what I really need is what makes me bleed. [Volcano, Damien Rice, O]
Where is the line with you. You ask again. [Where is the line, Björk, Medúlla]
Wait a minute man, I see right through you. You took me for a joke. You didn't hear a damn word I said. [Right through you, Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill]
It fuels me and places a skeleton of trust, right beneath me, if I ask myself, patiently, and carefully, who is it that never let's me down and who has given me back my crown, and the ornaments. He demands a closeness, we both have learned the lesson. I'll carry my joy and my pain. [Who is it (...), Björk, Medúlla]
Cuéntame qué vas a hacer cuando decidas otra vez regresar; ya no estaré aquí en el mismo lugar. [Si te vas, Shakira, ¿Dónde están los ladrones?]
Do you eat, sleep, do you breath me anymore? Do you count sheep anymore? I look at the window, I look at the moon. [Do you sleep?, Lisa Loeb, Tails]
You make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle." [Knees of My Bees, Alanis Morissette, So-Called Chaos]

If you ever get close to a human, be ready to get confused. [Human Behaviour, Björk, Debut]

Life goes easy on me most of the time, no love no glory. I can't take my eyes off of you. Did I say that I want to leave it all behind? And so it is... [The Blower's Daughter, Damien Rice, O]
Behind the child I'll be wild like a child. Like snake I'm growing. [Behind The Child, NajwaJean, No Blood]

I recommend get your heart troubled on anyone, I recommend walking nakend on your living room. You live, you learn, you love, you learn, you cry, you learn. [You Learn, Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill]
Maybe is true that I could never return. But I am a new machine. Name it as you wish. I heard this from another place. But I am a new machine with the rhythm of blade from the falling rockets. [New Machine, Najwa, Carefully]
See it was like this, I was between two worlds: one full of promises and the truth I knew would hurt. Memories in my life. We tried. We cried. Past wont go away. The story of my life. [Story of my Life, Kristian Leontiou, Some Day Soon]
I don't know where I belong, I should be more careful. I follow blindly alone, I need to belong somehow. [You don't know, Cyndi Lauper, Sisters of Avalon]

Laughter

Please, Spanish speakers, read the last (at least by now) Mara Jade's post.
No tiene pérdida.
Thank You, Mara Jade, you made my evening.

Sun

Sun is shining.

I got some "bad" news (note the inverted commas) yesterday, but the Sun was shining.

I wasn't at work, this morning; some training, and the Sun was shining outside.

I am working in 15 minutes and Sun is shining; I'd rather be in my balcony reading some nice book (it would be for the university, I haven't got time for anything else) and having some good coffee. The Sun would be lying on my face.

I have to go work and the Sun will be out by the time I finish.

It feels like the end of the world: the Sun is shining and I can't enjoy it.

Autumn is coming.

The last chance streetcar went off the track

Mary Jane, Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill

Las aperiencias engañan

Sometimes things that seem to be something are, in the end, something totally different.
And again, I see myself in my memory telling people not to judge thing for what they look like and wait until they really do know what is this about. And again, I see myself making this kind of pre-judgements myself and I don't like it.
Today I was almost going to splash myself into a wall [figured wall, of course] but it didn't happen because I, somehow, got some inspiration and realised that I was wrong. Well, I wasn't that wrong, just a bit. But, anyway, i don't like that.
My sister [the birthday girl] and I have a word (that other people uses, I think) that I really like: tanguear. To Tango (somebody or someone).
Tango is a beautiful dance and it always go with a "Dime y te digo", "Estira i arronssa"... "Pull and Push". It is like a fight between two people. Love, and life in general, is like that. We are always pulling someone's tongue and, in the end, it all ends up very badly. Or perhaps not.

Food

Today is my elder sister's birthday but we celebrated it on Sunday; the four siblings, my father and the girlfriend of my other sister. My other sister is a Chef and she did --with the help of my father as a Sous Chef-- the food. Here is the first dish: goat's cheese and fig salad with Mozzarella wafer and candied onion jus. Delicious!!!

At lost

When I arrived in London I had so much language barriers. Not only for the fact that I didn't speak the language but also because I didn't know the language. I mean that, when we are speaking, we use more than words. We also use idioms, quotes and a full background of history, tales, telly and so on. The reason I named this Ten to the Dozen --a part of the obvious reason of me speaking as much as that-- is something that happened on the second weekend in town: I went so some Catalan friend's house to have "dinner" and to go out at The Cross at King's Cross. Before leaving, we had some pre-drinks at home and catching up. I met the boyfriend of the room mate of my friend. He is English and we were talking a lot --with my terrible one-week-in-town English-- and he told me "You like to talk in English, huh?". I said yes and I was trying to say that I always talk a lot and he taught me to say "Ten to the dozen". He was kind, patient and comprehensive --unlike his Spanish boyfriend (not my friend).

I decided, then, that I was going to try to learn as many idioms as possible. Never did.

Soon I became fearless to English. I know my English isn't great (you that you read, must realize), but I prefer to make mistakes than stay quiet. After a while I was already talking a lot and --beautiful Spanish accent included-- fast. My vocabulary and grammar improved day by day (there's much to do still) and I became happy on it.

Suddenly I realized that I was feeling very comfortable in English. But some rain clouds arrived in my life and I did the biggest mistake of coming back to Spain. I thought I was going to feel better here, and I did for a while, but now I see coming back as a mistake. I miss London but the worse isn't that --the city and my beloved friends will be there if I go--, the worse is that I don't feel comfortable here. I feel that there is a black hole between me and the rest of the people I socialize with. They live in a world totally different to mine. I look at them and I see them as when, with a friend, we were following a wonderful Spanish old man in my town. I feel that I am here on holidays, waiting for the moment I go back and still looking at them as weird people who do things that I can't understand because I am not from here. I can't talk about certain things any more. I can't go in the tube with my iPod and look at people how they behave. I can't go to East Street Market and wonder-wander around. I feel that I am not from here because no-one here understands me.

Foto at the top by Life'sGood, Torredembarra 24th December 2004

Tamara de Lempicka

No words are needed

Rain

It is raining again and, on days like this, is when I really do miss London. When I was living there, everyone here in Spain was asking me about the rain and the fog. Fog? Twice a year, not much. Rain... That mostly everyday. But somehow the rain over there didn't quite bothered me and it became just another piece of the landscape. Like a tree. Here, when it rains it pours and it is, sometimes, quite annoying. Especially in this horrible town that does not have sewers --or at least not in my borough. The seven hundred feet from my office (where I am now) to my house, turn into a race with obstacles where the fences become puddles.
I remember rainy days at Earl's Court Tube Station [it always makes me smile how English is that the borough is not written like that but Earls Court] waiting for my train connection to my house in Kensington. I remember the queues of men and women. And now, after reading While England Sleeps (David Leavitt), my memories of spring-time in London are blurred by the rain.

I have just seen how Autumn has just arrived. I was in a car (I wasn't driving) and the wind and the rain was making move the branches of the maple trees and its leaves where falling, some of them slowly and some faster pushed by the water and the air.
I've been listening to Amos Lee today. A perfect match. Rain+Amos. Though, I would have loved to be in a cottage with chandeliers all around and a big fire place heating me up while I read a good book [perhaps Leavitt also]. A very interesting thick book. I look out of the window, I observe the rain, the leaves, the trees, the prairie. I look at the horizon and I wonder if it could be better.

I guess the answer is no.

Linguistics and Politics

I started the BA in Linguistics when I was in London, never finished it. Now I am back in Spain and I am starting Hispanic Philology (Spanish Studies) as, to study Linguistics, I have to do at least the first part of a degree in Philology (2/3 years) and then the two years in Linguistics [this here in Spain].

And perhaps is for this obsession in that matter that I see how people is arguing about political things but giving linguistic objections.
I'll explain:
This year the Gay Marriage was approved in Spain, as you know. But some people (Right Wing) was saying that it shouldn't be called "Matrimonio" (Marriage) and they were looking for a new word like *Homonomio (*Homoage). I think it is unbelievable that people argues about that: first because if you give another word you are still discriminating, as two words with the same meaning cannot exist, synonyms are just similar-meaning-words; and second because, really, what is the point? Words are words, as animals are animals, and plants are plants, and all them should only have the importance they should have. Words are a instrument: why do you bring words to parliament? Would you bring a blender?
The second example of this Linguistic-Violence is about Catalonia. The president of the Catalan Govern (Generalitat) and his colleagues are preparing a new Statute (Estatut, something like a constitution for the Spanish Autonomous Communities, our pseudo-federal govern) and they are calling Catalonia a Nation. Now all the Falangists (Far Right Wing) are arguing whether Catalonia is a Nation or not when, if you take the Real Academia de la Lengua Española (the official Spanish Dictionary, Spanish Language Royal Academy) you'll see that, obviously, Catalonia IS a Nation. I am not saying that because I am Catalan. I think other regions in Spain are Nations too, and not only the ones that have a distinct language. So, now, they worry about that. They say that if "they" grant us the level of nation, "we" will want a State as we'll become a "Nation Without State", i.e. Civil War. What are they talking about? First of all, we have to say that all this has been made inside the constitutional frame and we haven't had a army or a terrorist group or anything, like other "Nations" in the world (not only ETA or IRA). Second, this is normal, the Constitution we have is being amended for many reasons (Marriage, Salic Law, etc.) because it has become, in some points, obsolete. So, why don't we accept that the past is over and go on with our present-future? We are going to a pseudo-United States of Europe. I know it would be weird to be federal if we are going to a major federation, though, Germany is a federation, right? And third and last, I think no-one or almost no-one in Catalonia wants the independence anymore, it is not worth!
So, why bother about what people needs if this does not change your life at all whatsoever? I mean, if Gay Marriages give rights to people and does not take from you, just let it be. If Catalan Nationhood gives happiness to Catalans and does not bother you, just let it be. Another thing is that we want to get our money for us as we contribute with the Spanish money in more than what we get (19 to 17% I think). Though, if you think it clearly: why should we spend this 2% in giving computers to the rural schools in Cáceres if our rural schools ain't got any?
I am a republican and a federal. Though, I like my Royal Family as is much better than others and I like my Autonomous Community's system as works better than other non-respectful-with-minorities systems.
I look to the future, where are they looking at? I think the opposition is just too busy trying to make the Govern (Socialist) look bad that they do not have time to do some research and think on ways to help the Govern in their needs and in Spain's needs.

Image of the first page of the Spanish Constitution, originally taken from here.

Yesterday

Yesterday I wanted to write something but I got busy at night and couldn't in the end.

I run into my aunt and her husband. Well, this is quite an extraordinary thing. She lives in Nederlands like for ever, she married twice with two Dutch men and she has children with them. I hadn't seen her since, at least, from 1998. I was at my office and I saw her passing by (not quite like the girl from Ipanema) and I went outside to call her. She turn back and she was looking at me like "Who the hell are you?" so I told her I was her nephew and she even asked "Which one?" so I told her my name and my family nickname.
We hadn't spoke ever since that 5 minutes conversation seven years ago, and I was supposed to be mad at her but, suddenly, I realised I wasn't mad but just quite kin.
We didn't arrange to meet again and she is leaving tomorrow. Perhaps I'll visit her sometime.

Time passes and it is weird how, what we truly knew was white back then, now is obviously black.

Just a quick note, please get with "O" by Damien Rice. Unexpectedly beautiful. Thanks to Gatchan82 for that recommendation.

Sometimes I hate myself

Yesterday I did something that I hated.

I work in a Real Estate and, many times, I've seen/heard that owners of flats to rent do not want to let it to foreigners. I disliked that so much, but I can't do anything. And, in the other hand, I do understand why they are like that.

I have a parking space to let and yesterday I got a phone call from someone who wanted to rent it. He had a funny accent and I asked where he was from. I do that all the times, I am so nosey or so Poland-holic... Anyway, when he told me he was from Romania I had the thought that I preferred the guy that had called me the day before since he was Spanish. I hated that but, at the end of the day, the main point was if he was going to pay.

Why am I so disgraceful sometimes by doing things that I say are not to be done?

Perhaps it is just human behavior.

[Update] He is renting my space and pays when he has to. I was sooo wrong. The other guy, didn't even pick up the phone again.

Head photo

I know, for you, English speaking people, this photo I have just uploaded does not make sense with the title of this blog. For the Spanish people for sure it does.

In Spanish, when we want to say To Speak Ten to the Dozen we say Enrollarse Como Una Persiana [To Roll up Like a Roller Blind note that in Spanish all words are meaningful, all words are worth an Upper Case].

So that's why I chose that photo. Hope you like it.

Explosion and escape

I have to explain something or I will explode. But to do so I have to give you some background. And this will be a rather more personal thing.

My sister started working as my town's library director in 1998. In 1999, for Sant Jordi (Saint George, the patron of Catalonia and day of the book and the rose, April 23rd), we did for first time a poetry reading. It wasn't only poetry but as well a tale and some short texts in prose.

The next year we did the same and we published a book with what we had read the year before.

We have been doing this ever since but this year has been a bit different. We included theatre in it and the "help" of a theatre school of my town. It went fine but, you know, I was getting so pissed off with that theatre director as he was behaving as he was THE director and not just someone who was helping us. He was behaving as he knew everything but, forgive me, if someone does know everything this are my sister and I as we have been there all the years through.

Today we saw the projection of the video of this year's event. He &%$#*^!! me so much. He really does think he is the best and, forgive me, what does an apparently successful actor from Barcelona opening a theatre school in my boring and dead town?? What is he escaping off?

Now it seems less but, really, I was getting so upset that I had to leave. The main point is that he is spoiling the event.

Now I am better and I am going to bed.

I don't know what I will do.

Is leaving the group [which is so important to me and to which I gave so much energy] an option?

Darling (stop confusing me with your wishful thinking), Björk, Play Dead, Debut

I would like to have an Arab partner to be called:

حبيبي

[If anyone knows Arabic, please, let me know if i mistook the spelling. Thanks.]

Thanks are needed

It is so easy, sometimes, to make people happy. I got happy suddenly two days ago thanks to a friend. Today I was going down again and, again suddenly, the music made me happy.

I have to say thanks.

Who will come in two days to cheer me up again?

Accents

Sometimes I would like to be from somewhere else just to speak different.

I know that when I speak in English I have this annoying Spaniard accent that I can't hide, but I mean in Spanish or Catalan since they are my mother tongues. I speak both languages plainly, standardly. I would like to speak Mexican or Ecuadorian or at least Andalusian. I would like to speak Valencian or Eivissan. I would like to speak Aranese (Occitan). But I don't. I speak just plane Spanish, plane Catalan. Just normal words.

Few thoughts (Part II)

This are not actually what I wanted to say yesterday but are some thought I had today.

3. Mood vs. Health. A friend of mine was absolutely right when she said that if my mood is down my defenses are down too. Yesterday I was feeling very sad in my life but, suddenly, I had a quite-normal-though-fulfilling conversation with a true friend and this made me happier than I have been in the last few weeks. Today, I didn't have a reason to be smiley and happy: my glands are still swollen, my head stopped aching because I took an strong pill, I went to work and I was bored, I got bad-billing-news. Though, I was happy. It was obviously she who made me happy. Can't wait to see her.

4. Remembrances. Today I was trying to find some tales and songs from when I was a child. I didn't find all I wanted, though I was happy to recall some songs I hadn't heard in a very long time. It all sounds different in the distance. There is this one song, "El ratón vaquero" (The cowboy mouse) that has a bit in English. It is very funny that what I though was "Uachunge, uichantak, uica rica tica tac..." or something similar when I was a child, suddenly became clear English words. We should never throw anything out. We will never know what will bring us so many nice memories when we are grown-ups (if we ever get to be).

5. Smiles. Marge Simpson said once that if you smile you get smiles back. It is true, definitely. Even though my colleague at work wont believe it, it works. Though, at the end of the chapter, Marge said it wasn't such a good idea. She's got a point, but she needs to add that you have to smile because you feel like smiling, not just with that purpose: to get smiles.

6. Chapters. Wouldn't sometimes be so great to live problems knowing that in 20 it has to be solved? It wouldn't be the same to know that what makes you so happy now will stop making you happy in that 20 minutes too.

Today has been easy. But my neck is so painful now.

Few thoughts (Part I)

I am still ill and it is very late but I need to say some stuff as I haven't spoken much, today.

1. I need to speak about my self-esteem. My oldest sister was telling me yesterday about what I should do with my life, now. Well, she was giving me some advices but, since I don't really know how to decide, it is more like an statement. She told me, for example, that I should do English classes or at least conversation classes. She said that, for example, she couldn't have done this blog. Of course, I do speak English almost everyday and I write it and I read it and I listen to it in the music and in the movies but, still, I am not confident enough. What do you guys think of it? I've been corrected in my other two languages, lately, which is actually embarrassing sometimes. I know I can do better than most people in Spain, speaking English, I mean. But, can I teach those who can't? And, how? I would like to do it as the Callan, which I heard works very good. But still, I am so damn scared about failing on it... It really means a lot to me, to speak English. Today I was watching movie after movie. The first I saw was Before Sunset and, of course, I saw it in English without subtitles, and I thought of what she was saying yesterday. I am scared, though, the French movie I saw, I saw it subtitled --Spanish people is really scared to "letreros" (meaning subtitles in a funny way).

2. As well I need to talk about emigration. Two of the other movies I saw were Loin (Far?) and María­ full of grace. The first one being an André Techiné's movie and the second one whose main character won an academy award for it, if I am not wrong. Both talked a little about money and emigration. It is so sad, and it makes me so angry, how sometimes we are told that things are so cool elsewhere. Yes, right, in London I was getting paid much more than in here, in Spain, and I had better work conditions and so on. But, though, I had some other problems. In the Colombian movie (María...), one character says something like "I felt so great when I could send money home". This is a fallacy. I know there are so many problems in Eastern Europe, South America and Africa, and that's why they come over (have you read/seen/heard the news about the sub-saharans jumping over the fences of Ceuta and Melilla –two Spanish cities in northern Africa–?). But as well I know that everyone keeps telling us that the US is so great and that everything there is beautiful and easy. But, come on, people dies there too, and they are hungry and they go to the toilet as elsewhere. When I went to Canada earlier this year and I was at Niagara Falls (which deceived me so much), I saw "America" and I could have crossed the bridge and go there for up to three months and, you know, I wouln't do it. I wouldn't cross because I have always been told of how great it is and it is not true. Do you really think that my friends-whit-a-degree-and-a-master have it so easy in the UK where they can only apply to service jobs or cleaning or something like that? Of course, a hundred pounds in Lithuania are so much money, but, hey, how much does it cost? Waking up every day before sunrise to work in something you hate and be home after sunset? Have a degree in, for example, biology and work as a waiter? Pay so much money for a visa or for a fake passport? When you should be back home trying to improve your life. Even though, the truth is, that saving for a while you can buy a house back home when that ammount of money you have to work for ages in your country.

The truth is that I had some other matters to talk about, but I've lost my memory and my energy through my fingertips. Besides, it is very late now. I'm going bed.

Illness

I haven't been around for a few days. It has been a difficult week and now, as an special final song, I am ill (annoying swollen glands).

Sometimes we do not realize of the things that should really matter to us. Sometimes we are blind to things and can only see some stuff that isn't as important as it should be.
I would really like to be an animal, sometimes, not to worry for the stupid problems we worry now. I guess, we don't really know, animals worry in some way. There are animals that are faithful forever and some that are not. But the fact of knowing what I am supposed to do in all the moments is really good. I mean, animals know what they do, they have it as an instinct. We've forgotten instincts towards religion, love and money. It is a pity, don't you think?

I have splitting headache... I am going to rest.

Comparison

"Las comparaciones son odiosas" we say. Comparisons are hateful. But sometimes we are thrown into situations where we cannot avoid them.

Part of my job is going house by house, like a Jehovah's Witness or a book seller (LOL). [It is actually very tiresome.] Well, I was doing so and I spoke with a man about the Post. The Spanish Post company (Correos), which belongs to the State, works awfully bad. I was telling him that I get letters only once a week; my street is new but it is in the very center of the town. He was complaining of the postman, who was leaving the letters in the corner of the street –it is a complex of about 15 houses– or all of them in the community's mail box. 'If this is his job, why isn't he doing it properly?', he told me. I had no answer. I could only compare it with the UK where it works better; perhaps because there are two companies that do the work, so it means competitivity.

This made me think about why people isn't doing thing properly, why don't they think with their brain instead of with their... whatever...

And going back to the office I looked at how dirty is sometimes the street.

The other day was one of those very windy days and all the streets were full of papers and plastic bags that were moved by the air ("There's live in the world" or something like that said the guy of American Beauty). But, in reality, it was a very disgusting experience. This wouldn't have happened if people threw things to the litter or took them home and threw them away there. I don't think this is so difficult, I do it. And I am not saying it just to say it and to lie about, but because it is true: my bag seems sometimes a dump. I've many times heard of/seen grown ups (under 50's because over 50's grew on a different society where this didn't happen that often) throw things to the floor; things like tobacco packs, tissueses, bottles or cans. And many times in front of children. This is just pathetic. I understand that they throw cigarette butts, but I cannot understand other things. And what about the people that eat sunflower seeds or pistachios while walking? Or, what when they are sitting and they leave a sunflower-rests carpet?

Since our cleaning services are not great (I don't want to compare now, again), why people don't help everybody a bit and keep everything clean?

A while ago I so another scene that I hated. The day before they had distributed the new Sí­nia, the town's magazine. It is a quite stylish yet old-fashioned magazine which doesn't look cheap at all (I have a column in it) and it is absolutely for free. So, I was walking work and I saw a few of them, 4 or 5, on the floor, on the pavement. It hurt me so much. They were in the morning in the publicity mail box of the building. Why on earth would someone just throw on the floor the hard work of so many people? And what's worse, the money of all of us? Since this is paid by the Culture Department.

I just don't understand. I am not asking them to read it all (dulls are in every country), but at least respect it and respect the rest of the inhabitants.

And of course, when things are dirty, the firsts to complain are obviously them!

As well that day I was thinking a lot on why my town has no parks and things aren't neat. But this is another story and needs to be explained another time, as Ende would say.

Friendship

Today it was a quiet day.

I was joking with a colleague at work because she is now hanging out with the new secretary. I was telling her things like "Go with your new friend... You don't love me anymore... What does she have that I don't...". It was all a joke and it was only because this girl and I had been talking a long time ago about that. Friends that are so possessive with you and suddenly, because you do a pretty normal thing that they disapprove, stop to talk you and you became a part of the past, a former friend. This is quite pathetic.

But, at the end of the day, we are becoming a non-social society. Well, perhaps we are very social, but just through our keyboards. Suddenly we see how people chat through MSN when they live two blocks away.

In the other hand, this new technologies has given us the opportunity for, at last, be in touch with people we haven't seen in a while. Now you leave summer camp and instead of sending a few letters in a year and never again, we catch up from time to time in the cyberspace.

And another facility are web sites like Passado that gives you the opportunity of meeting your former school mates. Though, this is quite a tough and boring thing to do, perhaps, looking at our past instead of at our present. I do think that Karina was right when she sung in 1971 in Eurovision "Volver la vista atrás es bueno a veces, mirar hacia adelante es vivir sin temor" [To turn the sight back is sometimes good, to look ahead is to live without fear] from the song El baúl de los recuerdos [The memories' chest].

But, going back to the main issue which was 'friendships', I think that sometimes we do not realize that one of the most important differences between us and animals is actually language. I love language and I see that we are losing towards it. Why do we wait for him/her to call... Why do not call if what we want is to speak with him/her.

People does not understand that an easier thing to do instead of stay still is to do something.

But sometimes it is too difficult or hard to stand up from the sofa and leave the chocolate back to clean up our greasy faces and look straigh into our eyes and ask to ourselves: What are you waiting for?

Hate

Sometimes I wonder why people is so mean, sometimes. Why do they hate so much. Isn't easier to be happy and to be nice to people? Well, I guess is a matter of choice. Or perhaps just the fact that if you are good and get shit back and if you are bad and get shit back too... well, perhaps it is easier to be bad.

But, at the end of the day, isn't nicer to be happy? When we are happy we see everything much clearer. When we are happy we wander in the streets, we say hello, good morning to that old lady that is walking very slowly in the middle of the pavement not letting you pass unless you step in the street. When we are happy we just see things different. Why, then, are we all the time making things to be unhappy?

I am not saying I am the happiest person in the world, because I am not. I am not even saying I am happy or nice at all whatsoever. But, I realize of that and, as they used to say, realizing is just the first step. I realize we should just leave unhappiness in the past and look ahead for cheering smiles.

It is hard, though. Especially when you are so miserable. You feel so miserable that don't even want to wake up. It is hard.

But, we have to. We have to keep going in our lives. Keep dreaming and keep doing. And keep forgiving.

Once I learnt that job problems are not to be taken personally. If your boss things you are a very bad whatever-you-do, perhaps it is true, but you can always improve it and, at the end of the shift, go with your boss to have a couple of pints while you laugh on how bad you are...

I am saying that because I am living a bit of problems at work. Two of my colleagues are having problems and arguing all the time. It is annoying and it has taken to a point that I JUST COULDN'T CARE LESS. It is not my business; I have learned that if I try to help them I will end up paying for my nosiness...

Anyway... They cry and all those things... just because they cannot stop a second and listen to what they say and what the other says. If they did so, their souls would wide open and really start crying for a reason.

Or this is what I think, anyway.

Birthday day

Today we celebrated my birthday. It wasn't today but on Wednesday. Then, we gathered at home some friends and my sisters and we had some sandwiches and some cake while we spoke till late night. Today we did the big party.

We went to Barcelona to spend the day. In the morning we went to MACBA (Museu d'Art Contemporani de Barcelona, Barcelona's Contemporary Art Museum) to see an exposition of Robert Whitman called Playback. It was fine, though we didn't really like it. Too much anxiety and destroy.

Then we went to the borough of Barceloneta to a tapas restaurant called Jai-Ca where we had tremendously good food.

In the evening we went to the theatre to watch Der Würgeengel, a Karst Woundstra's play based on Buñuel's film El ángel exterminador. It was good, though, if Buñuel surrealistlist, when it has gone through the German point of view, it becomes too different for our understanding. BTW, it was subtitled.

It has been a perfect day. I love Barcelona, it is such a beautiful city. I do love London, too, but this city, Barcelona, is really a walk-around kind of city.

When we had just arrived, while having a coffee, a bunch of Gipsy children came over and tried to steal to a British man. They where stealing him a €100 and the wallet but, thanks to my friends, who were just next to his table [I was in the other corner], we could get the money and the girls to get the wallet. Then, out of a sudden, three policemen on disguise appeared. They didn't know each other so they were showing the identification to one another.

It is amazing how many times we've seen and heard of robatories in this city. This didn't use to happen before. And how many people lives in the streets! And, forgive me, while we are helping other countries with humanitarian help. Yes, I do think we have to help who is in need, of course. But what about the people that everyday is dying in our streets? Is any country going to send a plane full of houses for them? Or full of jobs? Or hope? Or low-rate's mortgages?

I don't think so.

[This post was truncated and the rest was lost]

Just as a start

I haven't always liked English. I even used to hate it; it was the second worse subject in High School, just before gymnastics. But, hey, now I love it and I really do enjoy finding the magic within its words.
Like the other day, you might not think this was funny at all whatsoever, but I do. I was watching Woody Allen's Melinda and Melinda and on some point of the movie one of the wives said "She is obviously not home sick". I had to stop it to review it. I found that so interesting. If you don't know what is it about, you won't know that she said this, meaning that she wasn't sick and at home.

Compare:

"She is obviously not HOME sick"

with

"She is obviously not HOME - SICK".

Well, I know this isn't funny for everybody, but it is for me.
I'll see you around.