Figs

As "Anonymous" asked, here is the recipe of the salad my sister did for my other sister's birthday.

Figs and goat's cheese salad with grape vinaigrette, praline and wafer

Ingredients:

Salad
Grape
Aceto di Modena (vinegar)
Goat's Cheese
Sugar (100gr)
Flour (20gr)
Albumen (the white of an egg)
Figs
Hazelnuts (a bunch)
Almonds (a bunch)
Walnuts (a bunch)

Preparation:

of the Praline:

Mince the hazelnuts, the almonds and the walnuts. Fry them with 50gr of sugar. Cook until they get golden coloured. Spread the paste you get over oven paper. Let it get colder.

of the wafer:

Mix the egg whites with the flour and 50gr of sugar. Spread the paste over oven paper and cook in the oven until it gets golden. Let it get colder.

of the vinaigrette:

Mince the grape and strain it. Fry it with a bit of Modena's vinegar and two spoons of sugar.

of the figs:

Cut the figs in halves. Place a piece of goat's cheese on top of each one of them. Grill them until the cheese melts.

Place it all nicely in plates.

Les figues

Figs are one of the oldest fruits in the world. Actually, in the Sacred Writings, in the Genesis, is the second fruit mentioned, after the apple. Adam and Eve, after eating the forbidden fruit, run to hide themselves with fig leaves. [" (...) they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves." Holy Bile, Genesis, 3:6] Even though, in many artistic representations of the couple in the Middle Age, they were depicted with grape leaves; this is a mistaken fact.

The Mediterranean cultivation is: olive, almond, grape and fig.
For 10.000 years, the fig has been a valued fruit for many civilizations: Phoenicius, Greeks, Romans...
In the Greek mythology we find that to Tantalus, the son of Zeus, once in Hell, they are bringing closer to him a branch of figs that he can never reach.

In the origins of Rome, we find that Romulus and Remus are drinking the milk of the Lupa Capitolina (Capitoline's She-Wolf) under the shadow of a fig tree.
From the European countries, Spain is the biggest fig producer and exporter. The regions where it is most cultivated are: Illes Balears, Extremadura, Païs Valencià and Andalucía. In Catalonia, the province of Lleida is the biggest producer.
Turkey is the biggest producer in the world.

We can find the common figs, which give the fruit once a year, between August and October. Also we can find the "breva" figs, which give fruits twice a year: June-July (which are called Saint John's figs (Figues de Sant Joan, in Catalan), figaflor (in Catalan) or breva (in Spanish), and the second time in the end of summer and beginning of Autumn.
In Spanish we find the saying "De higos a brevas" (From figs to brevas) which means "Once in a while, from time to time". So it means the period between around September and June, i.e. when the common fig grows and when the breva fig grows.

Fresh figs are not very caloric (80kcal/100gr) but they are very rich in: fiber, calcium, potassium and magnesium.

When we dry them we are multiplying their caloric and energetic value (274kcal/100gr).
They are very digestive, laxative, a very good revitalizer and with lots of vitamins from the B group.

Recipe and most of the information about figs, got from my sister Rocío.

I have the recipe in Catalan if anyone wants it.

In the Train

I love trains. I could spend hours in a train, but not waiting for one.
And I miss them a lot now that I live in this town that I don't need a train or a bus at all.

I've been to Barcelona today. I love Barcelona. Though I went for nothing as I couldn't do what I was going for. So I have to go again on Monday.

On my way back something got my attention --I'd forgotten my book so I was just listening to my iPod and looking around and to the window. There were four guys sitting in the next six-grouped sits just in front of me. They were all of them Muslim and they were saying funny things --unfortunately I do not speak Arabic, so I wasn't laughing. Also, they were looking and whistling at girls; and saying compliments --I say 'compliments' since I don't know the English for "rude, chauvinist, unwanted comment".
Since I had nothing to read, I was looking at them, how they behaved ("Human Behaviour") and I realised of one little thing: one of the guys was sitting in one of the corners, next to the corridor, and he wasn't looking at girls like the rest. He was looking at them like saying "How I hate you, dolls" and back looking at one of the other mates like saying "Why do you look at them? I am here!". He was like Joey from Friends, laughing when they were laughing, but not because he was stupid, but because he was just looking at this guy. Observing him.

I've heard that Muslim have a greater acceptation of the homosexuality, that they practice it before marriage, but it is just sex. He wasn't looking at the other guy in a sex way but in a love way. I wonder, will he have it more or less difficult than a Catholic? (meaning Catholic all of us who have born in a Catholic society, not only the believers).
Since his society is rather more chauvinist and "closed minded" than "ours", I imagine he would have much more difficult to accept that.
I don't know, never met one gay Muslim.

When I am in the train I always look at people and invent their lives. Who is with who and why, what are their jobs and so on. Only looking at this small hints that I can observe.

Minding the gaps

My brain is going through a moment of too much work, finding the way out of this labyrinth that is life. My thoughts aren't clear. Just letting things fall by their own weight.

I have to learn to choose the big stones to build my wall and then, with the small ones, fill the gaps.

I'll restart my hard drive.

Image originally taken from here.

Luck

I went to the movies, today. I saw The Secret Life of Words (La vida secreta de las palabras) which has been released in Spain this week and wont be released in the States until December --I don't know when will it be released in the UK and Eire.
It is certainly a great movie and it made me think a lot, and sadly.

When I was younger, my brother and sisters, and most of the people that was around me, used to tell me very often thinks like: You weren't born yet, you are too young, you'll understand in a few years... I hated it. Especially this about me not being born when that matter had happened.
Now, I am very happy that I was born in 1981. Very proud.
Also, I am very happy I was born in Spain as, it is a great place. I am not saying this just because I am Spanish, but because we don't usually have natural catastrophes, we haven't had a war since 1939, etc.

As I said I saw today the new Isabel Coixet's movie and it made me think of how lucky I am that I was born in here, then.

[I am too sad to write longer, sorry.]

Musical letter

Lately I've been hearing lots of new music. I have music in my mind most of the time. When I am in silence I am singing in my within. Sometimes I would just answer a question with a song. I know I've talked about that lately. Bad news are still coming. I am not going to explain it. Just going to sing some pieces of songs. Most of them are right like they are, some of them I've changed some words. In brackets where it comes from.
This is a letter to two people. Between inverted commas is what I say to someone. The rest is to the other. Difficult to understand?
Here is today's soundtrack:


It's real early morning, no-one is around, I'm back at my desk, again writing things down. It's become a habit, a way to end the day. I go through all this before you wake up, so I can feel happier, to be read here by you. [Björk, Hyper-ballad, Post]
You see everything, you see every part, you see all my life, you dig everything of which I'm ashamed, and you are still here. [Alanis Morissette, Everything, So-Called Chaos]
Dear dar, my ex, wrote a message, he was talking crazy, saying he wanted me to move with him back there. [Alanis Morissette, Joining You, Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie , MTV Unplagged]

"Don't throw yourself like that, in front of me, you'll hurt your knees. I kissed your mouth back then. Volcanoes melt you down. What I am to you is not real. What I am to you is not what you mean to me. You give me miles and miles of mountains and I ask for the sea. This is nothing new, what I really need is what makes me bleed. [Volcano, Damien Rice, O]
Where is the line with you. You ask again. [Where is the line, Björk, Medúlla]
Wait a minute man, I see right through you. You took me for a joke. You didn't hear a damn word I said. [Right through you, Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill]
It fuels me and places a skeleton of trust, right beneath me, if I ask myself, patiently, and carefully, who is it that never let's me down and who has given me back my crown, and the ornaments. He demands a closeness, we both have learned the lesson. I'll carry my joy and my pain. [Who is it (...), Björk, Medúlla]
Cuéntame qué vas a hacer cuando decidas otra vez regresar; ya no estaré aquí en el mismo lugar. [Si te vas, Shakira, ¿Dónde están los ladrones?]
Do you eat, sleep, do you breath me anymore? Do you count sheep anymore? I look at the window, I look at the moon. [Do you sleep?, Lisa Loeb, Tails]
You make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle." [Knees of My Bees, Alanis Morissette, So-Called Chaos]

If you ever get close to a human, be ready to get confused. [Human Behaviour, Björk, Debut]

Life goes easy on me most of the time, no love no glory. I can't take my eyes off of you. Did I say that I want to leave it all behind? And so it is... [The Blower's Daughter, Damien Rice, O]
Behind the child I'll be wild like a child. Like snake I'm growing. [Behind The Child, NajwaJean, No Blood]

I recommend get your heart troubled on anyone, I recommend walking nakend on your living room. You live, you learn, you love, you learn, you cry, you learn. [You Learn, Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill]
Maybe is true that I could never return. But I am a new machine. Name it as you wish. I heard this from another place. But I am a new machine with the rhythm of blade from the falling rockets. [New Machine, Najwa, Carefully]
See it was like this, I was between two worlds: one full of promises and the truth I knew would hurt. Memories in my life. We tried. We cried. Past wont go away. The story of my life. [Story of my Life, Kristian Leontiou, Some Day Soon]
I don't know where I belong, I should be more careful. I follow blindly alone, I need to belong somehow. [You don't know, Cyndi Lauper, Sisters of Avalon]

Laughter

Please, Spanish speakers, read the last (at least by now) Mara Jade's post.
No tiene pérdida.
Thank You, Mara Jade, you made my evening.

Sun

Sun is shining.

I got some "bad" news (note the inverted commas) yesterday, but the Sun was shining.

I wasn't at work, this morning; some training, and the Sun was shining outside.

I am working in 15 minutes and Sun is shining; I'd rather be in my balcony reading some nice book (it would be for the university, I haven't got time for anything else) and having some good coffee. The Sun would be lying on my face.

I have to go work and the Sun will be out by the time I finish.

It feels like the end of the world: the Sun is shining and I can't enjoy it.

Autumn is coming.

The last chance streetcar went off the track

Mary Jane, Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill

Las aperiencias engañan

Sometimes things that seem to be something are, in the end, something totally different.
And again, I see myself in my memory telling people not to judge thing for what they look like and wait until they really do know what is this about. And again, I see myself making this kind of pre-judgements myself and I don't like it.
Today I was almost going to splash myself into a wall [figured wall, of course] but it didn't happen because I, somehow, got some inspiration and realised that I was wrong. Well, I wasn't that wrong, just a bit. But, anyway, i don't like that.
My sister [the birthday girl] and I have a word (that other people uses, I think) that I really like: tanguear. To Tango (somebody or someone).
Tango is a beautiful dance and it always go with a "Dime y te digo", "Estira i arronssa"... "Pull and Push". It is like a fight between two people. Love, and life in general, is like that. We are always pulling someone's tongue and, in the end, it all ends up very badly. Or perhaps not.

Food

Today is my elder sister's birthday but we celebrated it on Sunday; the four siblings, my father and the girlfriend of my other sister. My other sister is a Chef and she did --with the help of my father as a Sous Chef-- the food. Here is the first dish: goat's cheese and fig salad with Mozzarella wafer and candied onion jus. Delicious!!!

At lost

When I arrived in London I had so much language barriers. Not only for the fact that I didn't speak the language but also because I didn't know the language. I mean that, when we are speaking, we use more than words. We also use idioms, quotes and a full background of history, tales, telly and so on. The reason I named this Ten to the Dozen --a part of the obvious reason of me speaking as much as that-- is something that happened on the second weekend in town: I went so some Catalan friend's house to have "dinner" and to go out at The Cross at King's Cross. Before leaving, we had some pre-drinks at home and catching up. I met the boyfriend of the room mate of my friend. He is English and we were talking a lot --with my terrible one-week-in-town English-- and he told me "You like to talk in English, huh?". I said yes and I was trying to say that I always talk a lot and he taught me to say "Ten to the dozen". He was kind, patient and comprehensive --unlike his Spanish boyfriend (not my friend).

I decided, then, that I was going to try to learn as many idioms as possible. Never did.

Soon I became fearless to English. I know my English isn't great (you that you read, must realize), but I prefer to make mistakes than stay quiet. After a while I was already talking a lot and --beautiful Spanish accent included-- fast. My vocabulary and grammar improved day by day (there's much to do still) and I became happy on it.

Suddenly I realized that I was feeling very comfortable in English. But some rain clouds arrived in my life and I did the biggest mistake of coming back to Spain. I thought I was going to feel better here, and I did for a while, but now I see coming back as a mistake. I miss London but the worse isn't that --the city and my beloved friends will be there if I go--, the worse is that I don't feel comfortable here. I feel that there is a black hole between me and the rest of the people I socialize with. They live in a world totally different to mine. I look at them and I see them as when, with a friend, we were following a wonderful Spanish old man in my town. I feel that I am here on holidays, waiting for the moment I go back and still looking at them as weird people who do things that I can't understand because I am not from here. I can't talk about certain things any more. I can't go in the tube with my iPod and look at people how they behave. I can't go to East Street Market and wonder-wander around. I feel that I am not from here because no-one here understands me.

Foto at the top by Life'sGood, Torredembarra 24th December 2004

Tamara de Lempicka

No words are needed

Rain

It is raining again and, on days like this, is when I really do miss London. When I was living there, everyone here in Spain was asking me about the rain and the fog. Fog? Twice a year, not much. Rain... That mostly everyday. But somehow the rain over there didn't quite bothered me and it became just another piece of the landscape. Like a tree. Here, when it rains it pours and it is, sometimes, quite annoying. Especially in this horrible town that does not have sewers --or at least not in my borough. The seven hundred feet from my office (where I am now) to my house, turn into a race with obstacles where the fences become puddles.
I remember rainy days at Earl's Court Tube Station [it always makes me smile how English is that the borough is not written like that but Earls Court] waiting for my train connection to my house in Kensington. I remember the queues of men and women. And now, after reading While England Sleeps (David Leavitt), my memories of spring-time in London are blurred by the rain.

I have just seen how Autumn has just arrived. I was in a car (I wasn't driving) and the wind and the rain was making move the branches of the maple trees and its leaves where falling, some of them slowly and some faster pushed by the water and the air.
I've been listening to Amos Lee today. A perfect match. Rain+Amos. Though, I would have loved to be in a cottage with chandeliers all around and a big fire place heating me up while I read a good book [perhaps Leavitt also]. A very interesting thick book. I look out of the window, I observe the rain, the leaves, the trees, the prairie. I look at the horizon and I wonder if it could be better.

I guess the answer is no.

Linguistics and Politics

I started the BA in Linguistics when I was in London, never finished it. Now I am back in Spain and I am starting Hispanic Philology (Spanish Studies) as, to study Linguistics, I have to do at least the first part of a degree in Philology (2/3 years) and then the two years in Linguistics [this here in Spain].

And perhaps is for this obsession in that matter that I see how people is arguing about political things but giving linguistic objections.
I'll explain:
This year the Gay Marriage was approved in Spain, as you know. But some people (Right Wing) was saying that it shouldn't be called "Matrimonio" (Marriage) and they were looking for a new word like *Homonomio (*Homoage). I think it is unbelievable that people argues about that: first because if you give another word you are still discriminating, as two words with the same meaning cannot exist, synonyms are just similar-meaning-words; and second because, really, what is the point? Words are words, as animals are animals, and plants are plants, and all them should only have the importance they should have. Words are a instrument: why do you bring words to parliament? Would you bring a blender?
The second example of this Linguistic-Violence is about Catalonia. The president of the Catalan Govern (Generalitat) and his colleagues are preparing a new Statute (Estatut, something like a constitution for the Spanish Autonomous Communities, our pseudo-federal govern) and they are calling Catalonia a Nation. Now all the Falangists (Far Right Wing) are arguing whether Catalonia is a Nation or not when, if you take the Real Academia de la Lengua Española (the official Spanish Dictionary, Spanish Language Royal Academy) you'll see that, obviously, Catalonia IS a Nation. I am not saying that because I am Catalan. I think other regions in Spain are Nations too, and not only the ones that have a distinct language. So, now, they worry about that. They say that if "they" grant us the level of nation, "we" will want a State as we'll become a "Nation Without State", i.e. Civil War. What are they talking about? First of all, we have to say that all this has been made inside the constitutional frame and we haven't had a army or a terrorist group or anything, like other "Nations" in the world (not only ETA or IRA). Second, this is normal, the Constitution we have is being amended for many reasons (Marriage, Salic Law, etc.) because it has become, in some points, obsolete. So, why don't we accept that the past is over and go on with our present-future? We are going to a pseudo-United States of Europe. I know it would be weird to be federal if we are going to a major federation, though, Germany is a federation, right? And third and last, I think no-one or almost no-one in Catalonia wants the independence anymore, it is not worth!
So, why bother about what people needs if this does not change your life at all whatsoever? I mean, if Gay Marriages give rights to people and does not take from you, just let it be. If Catalan Nationhood gives happiness to Catalans and does not bother you, just let it be. Another thing is that we want to get our money for us as we contribute with the Spanish money in more than what we get (19 to 17% I think). Though, if you think it clearly: why should we spend this 2% in giving computers to the rural schools in Cáceres if our rural schools ain't got any?
I am a republican and a federal. Though, I like my Royal Family as is much better than others and I like my Autonomous Community's system as works better than other non-respectful-with-minorities systems.
I look to the future, where are they looking at? I think the opposition is just too busy trying to make the Govern (Socialist) look bad that they do not have time to do some research and think on ways to help the Govern in their needs and in Spain's needs.

Image of the first page of the Spanish Constitution, originally taken from here.

Yesterday

Yesterday I wanted to write something but I got busy at night and couldn't in the end.

I run into my aunt and her husband. Well, this is quite an extraordinary thing. She lives in Nederlands like for ever, she married twice with two Dutch men and she has children with them. I hadn't seen her since, at least, from 1998. I was at my office and I saw her passing by (not quite like the girl from Ipanema) and I went outside to call her. She turn back and she was looking at me like "Who the hell are you?" so I told her I was her nephew and she even asked "Which one?" so I told her my name and my family nickname.
We hadn't spoke ever since that 5 minutes conversation seven years ago, and I was supposed to be mad at her but, suddenly, I realised I wasn't mad but just quite kin.
We didn't arrange to meet again and she is leaving tomorrow. Perhaps I'll visit her sometime.

Time passes and it is weird how, what we truly knew was white back then, now is obviously black.

Just a quick note, please get with "O" by Damien Rice. Unexpectedly beautiful. Thanks to Gatchan82 for that recommendation.

Sometimes I hate myself

Yesterday I did something that I hated.

I work in a Real Estate and, many times, I've seen/heard that owners of flats to rent do not want to let it to foreigners. I disliked that so much, but I can't do anything. And, in the other hand, I do understand why they are like that.

I have a parking space to let and yesterday I got a phone call from someone who wanted to rent it. He had a funny accent and I asked where he was from. I do that all the times, I am so nosey or so Poland-holic... Anyway, when he told me he was from Romania I had the thought that I preferred the guy that had called me the day before since he was Spanish. I hated that but, at the end of the day, the main point was if he was going to pay.

Why am I so disgraceful sometimes by doing things that I say are not to be done?

Perhaps it is just human behavior.

[Update] He is renting my space and pays when he has to. I was sooo wrong. The other guy, didn't even pick up the phone again.

Head photo

I know, for you, English speaking people, this photo I have just uploaded does not make sense with the title of this blog. For the Spanish people for sure it does.

In Spanish, when we want to say To Speak Ten to the Dozen we say Enrollarse Como Una Persiana [To Roll up Like a Roller Blind note that in Spanish all words are meaningful, all words are worth an Upper Case].

So that's why I chose that photo. Hope you like it.

Explosion and escape

I have to explain something or I will explode. But to do so I have to give you some background. And this will be a rather more personal thing.

My sister started working as my town's library director in 1998. In 1999, for Sant Jordi (Saint George, the patron of Catalonia and day of the book and the rose, April 23rd), we did for first time a poetry reading. It wasn't only poetry but as well a tale and some short texts in prose.

The next year we did the same and we published a book with what we had read the year before.

We have been doing this ever since but this year has been a bit different. We included theatre in it and the "help" of a theatre school of my town. It went fine but, you know, I was getting so pissed off with that theatre director as he was behaving as he was THE director and not just someone who was helping us. He was behaving as he knew everything but, forgive me, if someone does know everything this are my sister and I as we have been there all the years through.

Today we saw the projection of the video of this year's event. He &%$#*^!! me so much. He really does think he is the best and, forgive me, what does an apparently successful actor from Barcelona opening a theatre school in my boring and dead town?? What is he escaping off?

Now it seems less but, really, I was getting so upset that I had to leave. The main point is that he is spoiling the event.

Now I am better and I am going to bed.

I don't know what I will do.

Is leaving the group [which is so important to me and to which I gave so much energy] an option?

Darling (stop confusing me with your wishful thinking), Björk, Play Dead, Debut

I would like to have an Arab partner to be called:

حبيبي

[If anyone knows Arabic, please, let me know if i mistook the spelling. Thanks.]

Thanks are needed

It is so easy, sometimes, to make people happy. I got happy suddenly two days ago thanks to a friend. Today I was going down again and, again suddenly, the music made me happy.

I have to say thanks.

Who will come in two days to cheer me up again?

Accents

Sometimes I would like to be from somewhere else just to speak different.

I know that when I speak in English I have this annoying Spaniard accent that I can't hide, but I mean in Spanish or Catalan since they are my mother tongues. I speak both languages plainly, standardly. I would like to speak Mexican or Ecuadorian or at least Andalusian. I would like to speak Valencian or Eivissan. I would like to speak Aranese (Occitan). But I don't. I speak just plane Spanish, plane Catalan. Just normal words.

Few thoughts (Part II)

This are not actually what I wanted to say yesterday but are some thought I had today.

3. Mood vs. Health. A friend of mine was absolutely right when she said that if my mood is down my defenses are down too. Yesterday I was feeling very sad in my life but, suddenly, I had a quite-normal-though-fulfilling conversation with a true friend and this made me happier than I have been in the last few weeks. Today, I didn't have a reason to be smiley and happy: my glands are still swollen, my head stopped aching because I took an strong pill, I went to work and I was bored, I got bad-billing-news. Though, I was happy. It was obviously she who made me happy. Can't wait to see her.

4. Remembrances. Today I was trying to find some tales and songs from when I was a child. I didn't find all I wanted, though I was happy to recall some songs I hadn't heard in a very long time. It all sounds different in the distance. There is this one song, "El ratón vaquero" (The cowboy mouse) that has a bit in English. It is very funny that what I though was "Uachunge, uichantak, uica rica tica tac..." or something similar when I was a child, suddenly became clear English words. We should never throw anything out. We will never know what will bring us so many nice memories when we are grown-ups (if we ever get to be).

5. Smiles. Marge Simpson said once that if you smile you get smiles back. It is true, definitely. Even though my colleague at work wont believe it, it works. Though, at the end of the chapter, Marge said it wasn't such a good idea. She's got a point, but she needs to add that you have to smile because you feel like smiling, not just with that purpose: to get smiles.

6. Chapters. Wouldn't sometimes be so great to live problems knowing that in 20 it has to be solved? It wouldn't be the same to know that what makes you so happy now will stop making you happy in that 20 minutes too.

Today has been easy. But my neck is so painful now.

Few thoughts (Part I)

I am still ill and it is very late but I need to say some stuff as I haven't spoken much, today.

1. I need to speak about my self-esteem. My oldest sister was telling me yesterday about what I should do with my life, now. Well, she was giving me some advices but, since I don't really know how to decide, it is more like an statement. She told me, for example, that I should do English classes or at least conversation classes. She said that, for example, she couldn't have done this blog. Of course, I do speak English almost everyday and I write it and I read it and I listen to it in the music and in the movies but, still, I am not confident enough. What do you guys think of it? I've been corrected in my other two languages, lately, which is actually embarrassing sometimes. I know I can do better than most people in Spain, speaking English, I mean. But, can I teach those who can't? And, how? I would like to do it as the Callan, which I heard works very good. But still, I am so damn scared about failing on it... It really means a lot to me, to speak English. Today I was watching movie after movie. The first I saw was Before Sunset and, of course, I saw it in English without subtitles, and I thought of what she was saying yesterday. I am scared, though, the French movie I saw, I saw it subtitled --Spanish people is really scared to "letreros" (meaning subtitles in a funny way).

2. As well I need to talk about emigration. Two of the other movies I saw were Loin (Far?) and María­ full of grace. The first one being an André Techiné's movie and the second one whose main character won an academy award for it, if I am not wrong. Both talked a little about money and emigration. It is so sad, and it makes me so angry, how sometimes we are told that things are so cool elsewhere. Yes, right, in London I was getting paid much more than in here, in Spain, and I had better work conditions and so on. But, though, I had some other problems. In the Colombian movie (María...), one character says something like "I felt so great when I could send money home". This is a fallacy. I know there are so many problems in Eastern Europe, South America and Africa, and that's why they come over (have you read/seen/heard the news about the sub-saharans jumping over the fences of Ceuta and Melilla –two Spanish cities in northern Africa–?). But as well I know that everyone keeps telling us that the US is so great and that everything there is beautiful and easy. But, come on, people dies there too, and they are hungry and they go to the toilet as elsewhere. When I went to Canada earlier this year and I was at Niagara Falls (which deceived me so much), I saw "America" and I could have crossed the bridge and go there for up to three months and, you know, I wouln't do it. I wouldn't cross because I have always been told of how great it is and it is not true. Do you really think that my friends-whit-a-degree-and-a-master have it so easy in the UK where they can only apply to service jobs or cleaning or something like that? Of course, a hundred pounds in Lithuania are so much money, but, hey, how much does it cost? Waking up every day before sunrise to work in something you hate and be home after sunset? Have a degree in, for example, biology and work as a waiter? Pay so much money for a visa or for a fake passport? When you should be back home trying to improve your life. Even though, the truth is, that saving for a while you can buy a house back home when that ammount of money you have to work for ages in your country.

The truth is that I had some other matters to talk about, but I've lost my memory and my energy through my fingertips. Besides, it is very late now. I'm going bed.

Illness

I haven't been around for a few days. It has been a difficult week and now, as an special final song, I am ill (annoying swollen glands).

Sometimes we do not realize of the things that should really matter to us. Sometimes we are blind to things and can only see some stuff that isn't as important as it should be.
I would really like to be an animal, sometimes, not to worry for the stupid problems we worry now. I guess, we don't really know, animals worry in some way. There are animals that are faithful forever and some that are not. But the fact of knowing what I am supposed to do in all the moments is really good. I mean, animals know what they do, they have it as an instinct. We've forgotten instincts towards religion, love and money. It is a pity, don't you think?

I have splitting headache... I am going to rest.