On Why English Speakers Are the Best (Part I)

I remember when I started reading my first book on languages (I am interested, you see...). It was "Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson.

To be fair, I didn't like it.

It was actually the first non-fiction/novel book I was reading and I was, at first, very scared of not being able to read (understand) it. An Australian friend had lent it to me.

First page: I had trouble with some words as they were supposed to mean two things and, either I know only one of the meanings or it was just not making sense to me (they were not supposed to make any sense, actually, as they were wrongly written sentences). I kept reading. My friend told me, after a few days, 'Oh, don't worry, I was all the time with dictionary on hands, when I was reading it!.' I didn't say anything but couldn't understand why. Then I realised that, for sure, all the words she had to check were the words related to grammar and language: mostly all of them come from Latin and are used in Spanish and/or Catalan.

To make the story short: I couldn't finish the book. Not because I didn't understand it (not much trouble, actually) but because it was getting on my nerves. He was trying to make a "good" book on languages and he didn't manage. He made many mistakes on, especially, Romance and Slavic languages (the ones I am most in touch with; perhaps he did with others but I couldn't know).

But the day I said 'That's it, I can't go NO more" was the day I read something like "English is the most important language in the world".

Mr. Bryson, do you know what "important" means at all?

Definitely, English is a very important language FOR ME but, surely, not the most important language FOR ME. I don't even know whether it is Spanish or Catalan.

Surely, what Mr. Bryson wanted to say is that English is the most useful language nowadays. Or, at least, this is what is closer to the apparent truth.

You cannot say, watching a painting by Pollock (e.g.), "this is ugly" because what something IS or ISN'T is a matter of subjectivity. You could say that YOU THINK the painting isn't nice or that YOU don't like it. And, this, would definitely avoid misunderstandings and remark the actual subjectivity on the fact that you dislike it.

And this all comes on the fact that lately I have been speaking to my American friend on why English speakers are the best. She is an English speaker and she dislikes the fact that English IS the language we all use when we go on a trip, say India, say Germany or any other country [Let's learn Esperanto, darling!]. When, for instance, I went to France and Italy (two different trips), I knew that with the few words I knew of both official languages and the fact that I speak two very related languages, I was going to make myself understood. But I couldn't. It was so easy for me to start speaking this language I am writing in right now that I couldn't go further than merci or buona notte. When I went to Canada and I really had trouble finding people who spoke English (in Quebec, obviously), I really had to take courage and try to get whatever we wanted in French.
I have been in a few countries in Europe and, over all, I can say that everybody speaks English and that the further you go in the North and East, the better they speak it (remember, this is only my opinion). In ten days in Poland I only found one single person who wasn't able to speak to me in English –though, for me it was just fine if she was speaking in v e r y s l o w Polish as I am (was) a student of the language.

I live now in "sunny" Spain (please, note the inverted commas) and I find it terribly annoying that people do not speak English. (I am talking generally.) I can't believe that, working in a company that has offices all over the country and that deals with many people, it was me who had to deal with an English customer as no-one spoke good enough to do so. The worse of it is that it wasn't my job and I am not getting paid for it.

I have a theory. From all the people I have known and spoke to, I have realised that the ones that seem to have more trouble of learning this language and avoiding a hard accent (like mine) are those who come from countries where Spainish, Italian or French (and perhaps Portugese). It seems that, since our languages were the MUST's during some periods of the past, we are still thinking that they still are the BEST.
How wrong.

Though, also the horrible-second-language-educational-system in Spain could have something to do with it. The fact that I pronounce(d) h- starting words as "hello" with a deep H, similar to the sound of J in Spanish when H does not have any sound whatsoever in my original language, has to be a mistake I have learnt from somebody. And don't come to me with, 'Oh, your dad is from Andalucía and he does pronounce a deep H', because I will tell you 'Yes, but I don't, and not all the Spaniards who I have met who pronounce the H that way are sons of Andalucians.'

Anyway, this is already taking so long and I didn't say what I wanted to say on Why English Speakers Are the Best. So, I'll place (Part I) after the title and continue tomorrow.

For those who can't understand what the paper on the photo says: "Speaking English Favors Dyslexia".

In my mind: "Como los Olivos" by Bebe.